I woke up this morning long before the sun had risen to the sound of shrieking laughter from the big kids room. And I wasn't happy about it. In fact I groaned and threw a pillow over my head in hopes of stifling the noise so I may be able to get at least five more minutes of sleep. But the shrieking quickly turned to calling.... for me.
I am by far not a morning person, unless I am woken up by my internal clock. And I am especially not a morning person when I have been up countless times in the night to pacify Pixie, to hush tears, or to scare away monsters and bad dreams. I am not a morning person as I trudge to the kitchen mumbling under my breath how anyone who has kids is a moron... I am not a morning person as I pop poor excuses for waffles into the toaster and attempt to hide my annoyance that I have barely been up for five minutes and there are three people tugging me in three different directions with three separate demands. I am still mumbling as I lay my babies on the couch, flick on cartoons and cover them each in blankets to hide from the chill of a dark living room.
I don't like the nuzzling my daughter forces upon me, cheek to cheek soft skin on mine. In fact I hate being touched as soon as I have risen. I cringe when Pixie climbs onto my lap and squeaks for milk, while inside I am dying for my first cup of coffee. The sounds of Flapjack cackling on the tv is almost enough to send me into a Hulk fighting fury. I miss my mornings of silence and reflection, moments where a million questions weren't asked before I even had a chance to pee. Actually, I miss the times when no one was there watching me pee. All of this and more is why I don't like mornings, especially demanding loud ones.
After I have done my motherly duties with the kids and everyone has settled I stomp back into the kitchen and make myself a glorious cup of coffee. I sit in the peace of the dimly lit kitchen and chug back my nectar of the Gods while preparing myself for a new day. In that moment I am healed of all annoyances and with two deep breaths I walk back to the living room.
Every single time I arrive to the same sight...
My sweet babies cuddled together under warm blankets. My loving children content, fed, happy and ready for the adventures today will bring. I stop and realize it's only been an hour since I have been awake and I have already kissed each of my kids. I have comforted them. I have nuzzled them. I have expressed my love through gritted teeth- but it was expressed. I have hugged and made my terrible jokes that sent each child into laughing fits and they in turn have joked with me. We have bonded and we have been present with each other.
So, no, I am not a morning person. Yet I would never change these moments for anything.