I am always on the hunt for new ways to express my love to my children. I want them to feel safe, secure, and satisfied. I craved these feelings as a child myself and know how important it is to have them met. I strive daily to show the love I hold inside outwardly to them. . There are so many times within the busy hustle of the day I forget to stop, bend down, and kiss those little faces I cherish so much.
I have been finding new ways to bring to my kids and I closer. And I as said before I need to make a constant effort with my oldest to show him that although a new family member has been added to our little clan, he is not alone. I find it very important to let him know that he is just as loved as he was before Phoenix (sissy tends to get quite a bit of attention because of her chubs and the simple fact she is a baby still). I don't ever want him feeling like he is any less special.
So I began doing something with each kid that would be our little "thing". For Trace it is the Eskimo kiss, I decided that Eskimo kisses will be our special show of affection. For Phoenix it is a little song I made up for her. This way when Trace gets his Eskimo kisses he feels special, he knows his sister won't get that one little piece of me. And when Phoenix and I sing her song together she will have her own special mommy time.
Besides this I am keeping a constant check on my daily love by speaking to them kindly, and never putting my kids down. Remember what seems a joke to you could mean hurt feelings. Be careful with the sarcasm you use.
Other ways to show your love:
Use the same manners you ask of them. Say "Please" and "Thank You". Lead by example.
Express appreciation. Tell your children how much you appreciate them. Draw attention to their talents and good behaviors: "The table looks great! Thank you for setting it so nicely." Or "I can always count on you to help me out. Thanks." I am always letting Trace know how much I appreciate the fact he picks up his toys with my asking only once. I am always complimenting how well he uses manners and is polite to other people. He beams with joy when he receives compliments.
Treat them like the people they are- I speak to Trace as adult as I know his little brain can understand. This way he feels like he is an equal and will be more willing to express himself at a later age.
Play with your kids. I get distracted so easily during the day with cleaning and making sure tiny hands aren't exploring dangerous places, that I sometimes forget to just sit down and play with my babies. I have been making a conscious effort to play more instead of cleaning. It has been making such a difference in Trace's self confidence! And as a bonus 15 minutes of play time with him usually turns out to be 30 minutes of play time alone. He is gaining the self esteem he needs to play alone. This is truly important for him as he is so sensitive to change and being alone. A huge step in the end goal of my little boy being independent and less afraid of the world around him.
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