There are some days that are spent completely in my own mind.
Where I write paragraph after paragraph about something I feel so passionate about. I wait until bed time to finally spill my guts here to the world. And when the time comes I cannot get a single word out. There are mornings where I wake up, get the kids their breakfast, settle everyone down for morning cartoons and sign on to blog. And my head is empty.
And there are times like right now where the house is trashed, my kids are terrorizing each other and I need something to call my own before I go insane. But there isn't much I can say. I just want to write, anything and everything that comes to mind. Just to pretend I am down the rabbit hole a little where the cats aren't screaming because their tails are being pulled, or the smell of poopy diapers isn't permeating my nostrils, or someone isn't constantly talking. If I were Alice I think I would knock off the queen, take her place and hire Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum (ok maybe not him) to babysit my kids a bit. If I were Alice I would take the "Drink Me" potion and grow so big that I could fit my two rascals neatly into my pocket and carry them around like a kangaroo, keeping them safe, close and out of trouble.
It feels like being a stay at home mom provides me almost zero outlet. And there are times like today where I wish I could run so far down the rabbit hole and have a good cry. Or ten.