Not going to lie. I have been losing my oomph for blogging lately. I just haven't had much time to dedicate to it. This past month has felt like a whirlwind. Did November really happen or was I just dreaming?
I have been trying to dedicate alot of my down time (10 minutes here or there, let's be honest) to meditation and working on myself spiritually. Not so much in a religious sense but more of simply aligning myself better with Source. To me that is just a Higher being. It needs no name. We don't have much of a religion in our home but we do raise our children and ourselves to be moral, loving, giving, kind, peaceful people. Meditation helps to quiet my mind and let my soul sit peacefully without interruption. I have gained quite a bit from simply "sitting". Therefore things like complaining about my crappy day has been pushed to the back burner. And I will be honest in saying there have been quite a few crappy days, like this one for example.
I would rather focus on bettering myself, and right now in doing so I need to not feel obligated and forced to write something that my heart isn't in. I am here to give you my heart and it isn't fair to you or myself if I vomit garbage all over a blog entry. What's the point, ya know?
I have so many pictures backed up on my camera and ideas to share with you guys but I need to take my time. If I am not feeling it, i'm not forcing it. I have no idea how moms with 3,4,5 kids have time to blog. And write AMAZING ones at that. I have two kids and I can barely get showered anymore. I even tried to delete my Facebook in order to give myself more time, but I am so lonely that it only lasted a night haha.
I used to be so proud that I could get it all done and now I am feeling less inspired and motivated. Ever since Trace hurt Phoenix so badly I have been less trusting (I probably shouldn't have been so trusting to begin with) at leaving the two of them alone. Therefore showering and such gets put on the back burner.
I am going to go with the flow, whatever I am doing at the moment is what I am meant to be doing. Everything happens for a reason.
And now I am just rambling...
I love you and all I can say is, in every aspect of my life I am trying my best.