I am so excited!
My sister is spending the night and she brought her laptop for me to use. Mainly so I can catch everyone up on all the excitement (chaos) in my life right now!
Well well well...
Here is the low down on life in the Trafton house lately.
Winter hasn't been its brutal self this year in Connecticut and although I should be getting the kids out more I haven't. They have been going insane inside. With all the toys and books they have I wish they would play with them more. However, when mommy doesn't play they don't either. I have been making such a conscious effort to be more playful and imaginative. Although it is something completely out of my realm I see the difference it makes in the way my kids play. This is something I know I need to continually work on.
(Forewarning- I got an iPhone and I am going Instagram crazy! Follow me if you like! OhHiKelly)
Another thing I have been working really hard on, is loving Trace in ways that are comfortable to him. I am such a cuddly/kissy overbearing mama at times and it doesn't match the way Trace is comfortable showing affection. I have cried so many times over the fact he isn't a big "touchy feely" kind of kid. Trace shows his affection on his time, in his terms. And although it has taken me three years to accept that- I finally have. I sit next to him, I hold his hand, I watch his tricks, I play toys, I color. All things that make him happier then cuddling would. I can see a change in him, he has become more loving and affectionate due to the way I have been dropping my expectations and accepting him for who he is. I have come to learn that everyone shows love in different ways, and they are all acceptable wonderful forms of affection. I have come to enjoy working with my children in ways that feel out of comfortable realm for me but more relaxing to them.
We got a second car! Finally!
Freedom! Adventure! Park trips with the kids! I am so excited for it all! I feel such a sense of relief knowing that once the weather warms up I will be able to give my kids so many wonderful experiences, outside of the home. Phew!
And last but not least....
Take a deep breath because I had to take 20...
Holy hell, I am pregnant with our third. BIG surprise for us considering I had an IUD in place were expecting to be baby free for ten years (forever). But this little angel decided otherwise. Some how, some way, my IUD went missing! How someone loses an IUD and does not feel it, I have no idea but it happened. And here I am. 8 weeks preggo.
It would be a lie if I said I wasn't terrified. I feel like in the last two weeks since finding out, I have gone through a complete cycle of emotions. I felt like I had finally come to a place at home with the kids where I was getting myself back again. Babyhood with Phoenix was coming to an end, she is finally on her feet. I was getting more sleep, more energy, a better outlook on my tiny space in life. And then boom! A big ol' plus sign. I was shaking after I took the test, shaking terribly. This was not our plan. But, with all of that being said we knew this was a sign. A blessing.The Universe doesn't hand you the life lessons you are due in a nicely ordered, exact plan that you have in your head. The Universe gives you the lessons you need in whichever way it sees fit. Who am I to be mad or scared when I truly feel like this is meant to be. I may not know the answer to my question of "Why?" at the moment but I am sure on the day this baby is born, I will release a massive breath and the answer will be directly in front of me. I have gone through all my phases of emotions and I am finally settled on happiness. Excitement. And still, a tinge of nervousness. All natural feelings to have when a soul chooses you to be it's mommy and you were not made aware in the most conventional way.
This baby will have two amazing siblings ready to love it unconditionally. And this baby will surely have two parents willing to pour their entire being into giving it the best life possible. Loving my children, and raising them to grow up to be wonderful, caring, respectable, well rounded adults is why I am here.
Life is beautiful!
I really miss you guys, and I hope soon my laptop will be fixed so I can be back to writing daily. I miss that just as much!