Accept Where You Are Today:
For someone who lives her life in her mind, constantly replaying old events and conversations. I find the task of keeping myself present an almost impossible one. However, once mastered (Who am I kidding? I haven't mastered anything past two second diaper changes.) your entire world will change. The gift that comes with accepting today as the only moment that matters, is the gift of light shoulders and a lighter heart. You are free to focus on the NOW, this exact NOW moment holds the potential for anything to happen.
On my hardest, most exhausting days accepting where I am at this very time is as simple as asking myself three questions:
1) Do my kids and I have a roof over our heads?
Yes.
2)Are my children well fed, happy, and safe?
Yes.
3) Do I need a nap today?
Yes
The last question is not a joke. If I am mentally and physically drained, I look to the comfort of being in the moment. If my children have a roof over their heads and are fed, happy, and safe than I did my job for that day. If I need rest and I'm struggling on levels deeper than I can cope with, I stop myself from piling on more than I can handle. I nap. I restore my energy. And I reevaluate my situation once I feel refreshed. Once at that point, things hardly ever seem as bleak as they did in my clouded mind of exhaustion.
Don't Set Yourself Up for Failure:
Most days I wake ready to tackle the world in one fell swoop. I pile on an overwhelming amount of chores and errands in a small amount of time. This leaves me feeling beyond stressed and defeated once I realize I simply cannot get every last item done in one day. That is when I return to my set of questions.
1) Do my kids and I have a roof over our heads?
Yes.
2)Are my children well fed, happy, and safe?
Yes.
3) Do I need a nap today?
No
4) What is one thing I can do today that will positively affect my future life?
.....
By accomplishing at least one task today that will change my future tomorrow or the years to come, I know I did enough to feel proactive without feeling crushed by the powerful unknowns of my future. I have the confidence to sit down with my cup of tea at night and exhale with a sigh of accomplishment.
I lived in the now. And I lived for today. I kept myself evenly balanced and focused on what I could do without guilting myself for what I could not do.
Lists Are Key:
If I had to remember every last task I wanted to accomplish in one day, I would hardly be able to do it by memory alone. Not only that but walking around with a full mind is simply added stress I do not need. Therefore a notebook is my best ally.
Each morning I sit down with my daily planner and jot down every last thought in my mind. Call so and so... sweep the floor.... find the missing toy from last night.. etc. Once my list is complete I choose 3 of the most important ones to me for the day. That is it. The next day I will add the leftovers to the list again and work from there. This way I have accomplished much without succombing to the sting of neglecting an item on my list.
Friends, this is not about laziness. It's about survival in a household that you single handedly run. It's about keeping my wits and my spirits high when meltdowns occur on an hourly basis. My strength is better saved in the patience department than it is washing a sink. The time will come when my home will sparkle like a land of unicorns, but for now I have moved myself just a smidge further towards my goals for a better future while making sure to continually stay present with the moments happening around me now.
That makes for an amazing day!
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