Without judgment. Without expectation. Without doubt.

It's January 2016.
I am a shaman.
I am a tarot professional. 
I spent two years busting my butt to build my own business.

I spent two years relentlessly working on myself.
Acknowledging my inner demons and cleansing
the dark corners left unattended for more than a decade.
While raising three children.
While holding down a part time job. 
While balancing depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety.
While going to therapy. Religiously.

I spent last year falling in love, and re-breaking my heart a few times.
I spent less time mending it back together and more time picking
apart the lessons each heartache blessed me with. 
I let go, I went crawling back, and I let go again.
A few times.
(Hey, nobody's perfect...)

In 2015 I stopped feeling sorry for myself.
I stopped victimizing myself and my "situation".
"Situation", hah... 
I finally realized there was no "situation".
There was me surviving and thriving and making my way in this world.
Fearlessly embracing the unknown and 
embracing its beauty with a ferocity I never knew I 

I stopped replaying old scenarios that no longer served me. 
I stopped being bitter and resentful. 
Though, sometimes the bitterness took new forms, and I recognized
their shape-shifting quickly.
 I caught them and threw them back outside 
where they belonged.
I worked and re-worked old paradigms. 

I stopped being 
"Divorced, single mom of three, too many animals, 
no time for you. Get away from me. I don't need you."

I became
"This is me exactly as I am. 
Take me or leave me.
I love who I am and I won't change myself
to fit your insecurities. 
I won't ask you to change who you are either.
I wont guilt you if your free will leaves you 
wanting to walk away from me."

I became okay with the ever changing, impossible to predict
motions of life. I became okay with the fact
 sometimes I may be too strong for someone.
 Or not enough for others. Or just not the right time.

In 2015 I learned to take life as it approached me.
Without judgement.
Without expectation.
Without doubt.

I was exactly where I was meant to be, learning exactly what needed to be learned, 
experiencing whatever needed to be fed to me. 
I was living. 

In 2015 I was living authentically. 

Cheers to 2016 being just as beautiful and raw!

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