It's January 2016.
I am a shaman.
I am a tarot professional.
I spent two years busting my butt to build my own business.
I spent two years relentlessly working on myself.
Acknowledging my inner demons and cleansing
the dark corners left unattended for more than a decade.
While raising three children.
While holding down a part time job.
While balancing depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety.
While going to therapy. Religiously.
I spent last year falling in love, and re-breaking my heart a few times.
I spent less time mending it back together and more time picking
apart the lessons each heartache blessed me with.
I let go, I went crawling back, and I let go again.
A few times.
(Hey, nobody's perfect...)
In 2015 I stopped feeling sorry for myself.
I stopped victimizing myself and my "situation".
I finally realized there was no "situation".
There was me surviving and thriving and making my way in this world.
Fearlessly embracing the unknown and
embracing its beauty with a ferocity I never knew I
I stopped replaying old scenarios that no longer served me.
I stopped being bitter and resentful.
Though, sometimes the bitterness took new forms, and I recognized
their shape-shifting quickly.
I caught them and threw them back outside
where they belonged.
I worked and re-worked old paradigms.
I stopped being
"Divorced, single mom of three, too many animals,
no time for you. Get away from me. I don't need you."
"This is me exactly as I am.
Take me or leave me.
I love who I am and I won't change myself
to fit your insecurities.
I won't ask you to change who you are either.
I wont guilt you if your free will leaves you
wanting to walk away from me."
I became okay with the ever changing, impossible to predict
motions of life. I became okay with the fact
sometimes I may be too strong for someone.
Or not enough for others. Or just not the right time.
In 2015 I learned to take life as it approached me.
I was exactly where I was meant to be, learning exactly what needed to be learned,
experiencing whatever needed to be fed to me.
I was living.
In 2015 I was living authentically.
Cheers to 2016 being just as beautiful and raw!