I Hate This Feeling

Preface: I have written this same sentiment a million times already.
I have this wonderful thing called Bi-Polar disorder. It used to envelope my whole life, long long bouts of depression. Lots of medication and therapy.
It has gotten much better, I am fairly level now, with months in between my sad times. But there are times like this week, for example, where the loneliness of being a car-less stay at home mommy gets to me. I have been good at distracting myself from getting very sad. And I have been good at keeping a level headed mind when loneliness does set in. I know it is not forever, I know my job as a mom is the most important.
However it still doesn't take away from the fact that everyone human being needs human interaction. And no- a two year old climbing all over you at 6 am does not count. 
My sister comes over when she can and when she does I dread the time she will have to leave. It is so nice to have another adult in the house, not to help me with the kids, not to help me with anything but just to be there with me. It is so nice to have another person in the house who is even just in another room, simply knowing I am not alone makes all the difference. 
My heart literally hurts being so lonely and craving other people's interaction. It stinks.
I just need a darn car. To go out into the world, even for 10 minutes a day.
Beep beep, where are you car?

1 comment:

Rhiannon said...

Big hugs for you Kelly xxxxxx

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