I'm BACK!

Finally! We got a new laptop! 

I couldn't be happier! I have missed blogging so much, mainly as a place to get all of my daily emotions out of myself and into another outlet. The good, the stressed, the whatever- it always feels so much better to release them into the universe then to let it fester inside. 

I have been so emotional lately, and it's been hilarious to watch I am sure.Every cutesy commercial makes me cry. The thought of bringing another life into my family makes me cry. I cried this morning just thinking about the fact my kids will have another sibling to support them all through their life. I am a big cry baby!
 In other news, things have really calmed down so much at home- my bleeding has ceased completely (it's been almost two weeks, which feels victorious!). I have an ultrasound next week to make sure the placenta is fully attached to whatever it needs to be (i'm no doctor, I have no clue haha). I have high hopes, each appointment I have gone to things have looked really good with the baby. Strong heart beat, fetal growth etc... 

Through it all I have kept such a strong sense of faith that whatever way this goes will be for a greater good. Not only for myself but my entire family. And this is where the emotion comes in (again)- the sense of peace I feel, not only because of this pregnancy but my whole family life in general, has been so overwhelming. I am so proud of how far I have come, of the family I have raised up to this point, and most of all, the extreme bond and growth Derek and I have achieved. We have gone through a heck of alot in the amount of time we have been together and it has been scary at times to be a part of it.  But the past few months have been calm, peaceful, full of support and understanding for each other and where we are personally at this moment. While things may not be as romantic as either of us would like we have a deep connection which overrides everything else. We know that our life right now needs to be rooted in our children. We have our dates at night in front of the television enjoying our favorite foods. That's about it for now, and we understand it will be this way for a while. Derek and I work so well as a team and our bond is grows tighter all the time. I am so proud of that, it is such a safe feeling to have. I know with each challenge we will over come whatever differences we have and grow stronger as a parental unit and couple in general. I really love that dude! 

In the confusion and emergency trips, there have been other blessings that leave me in a pool of my own grateful tears. My family has come together around me to help me in any way possible. So many family members have taken time off of work to clean my home and play with the kids while I rest. I have received such a support system that it brings me to tears quite often. I am so loved, my kids are so loved and it is really such a special thing to be part of.  I honestly cannot wait until I am myself again, this wonderful surprise blessing arrives, and I am able to give myself to those who have given so much to me. I owe so much to my family, they are truly amazing. 

I am so excited for all the newness I will be experiencing within the next couple of months and especially when the new baby arrives. But for now I have really loved just sitting around and getting the rest I need. All the while surrounded by people I adore more then anything. I have such GREAT friends and family. I know how blessed I am and I say my "thankfuls" everyday. 

Things are in perfect order- 

Home life is perfect.

Relationships are balanced. 

There is a profound sense of harmony within myself. 

I no longer "want" any more then what I have. 

I am one blessed chick.