The (Not So) Grandparent Dilemma

Good morning friends!
 I am relaxing in the peace of my own bodies wake up call and the calmness of a home minus two rascals. It's been quite the common occurrence, now that the kids go to their favorite grandparents home for the weekend. It has taken me quite some time to let go of the guilt I felt that I was letting them stay somewhere else so often. I felt like I was being neglectful, not doing the "right" parenting thing. Until I sat down and actually rationalized what I was feeling. I asked myself a few key questions:
Was I relaxed once the kids got back from their visit? Did their stay away make me a better parent?
 Yes- I was refreshed, had a full night's sleep. I was happier. More willing to play with them. I need this break. 
Were my kids being taken care of as well as I would have done? 
Yes- if not better. The kids go to Nonna and Poppi's and are spoiled beyond belief. They are snuggled constantly, eat wonderful home cooked healthy meals, go on mini trips to visit more of their family, they get out of the house for once! With winter being so cold here, we spend months indoors, never really going anywhere except once a week to the grocery store. Everyone needs a change of scenery!  The kids are HAPPY, LOVED and have so much fun!
Do I want my children to have a strong, stable, trustworthy sense of family? 
BIG TIME! I do not have any sort of bond with my grandparents, I don't think I ever had a sleepover at their house, or ever went on a trip with them. It's always been odd to me the relationship that most kids had with their grandparents. Only because I never had that.
 I remember a day where I was moaning to Derek about how I so badly needed and loved the break I got when Trace would go to sleep over Nonna and Poppi's house, but it left me feeling neglectful. And maybe some people find that to be the case..
He gently reassured me that he did the same thing as a kid, and he loved it! Just because it was different to me, was no excuse to not let them experience the joys of extended family as much as possible. And now, years later (literally, it has taken me quite some time to not feel such guilt) I enjoy the time I get to myself. I enjoy the quiet moments I get to clean, do laundry and put the laundry away- all in one swoop! I enjoy the time I can sit and blog, without being rushed. I enjoy the time I can sleep in and the showers I don't have to skimp on. I love my ME time, the kids love THEIR time, and the grandparent's look forward to their visits like nothing else!
Yesterday showed me just how much my children love their visits. I told Phoenix that Nonna was on her way to pick her up. Phoenix looked up at me as she sat on my lap. She understood completely. She began to shimmy her way off the couch and said, "bye bye". She crawled all the way to the front door and sat and whined repeating, "Nonna, nonna, nonna..."
I picked her up, took her upstairs and explained we needed to pack her little bag so she could be ready to go. As I filled her bag with clothes for the weekend she scooted to her bookcase. She pulled out her two favorite bed time books and plopped them in her to go bag. She was ready for her visit! And she was so excited!
Yesterday, waiting for her Nonna
So, here I am. Enjoying my me time. Eating breakfast and watching Ancient Aliens. I am one happy mama. And I know my babies are having a blast as I write this. 
In their second playroom at Nonna and Poppi's!
Win/Win in my book! 
Nonna and her favorites!
Trace and his Poppi (his best friend) in Disney!!


I would like to hear from other mama's if their kids have frequent visits with family? When you were a child what was your relationship with your grandparents?
 I have truly come to love the special bond of grandchildren and their grandparents. 

11 comments:

Mrs. Oat said...

I spent A WHOLE TON of time with my grandparents growing up. My parents were divorced, so they both needed their respective breaks/time to be an adult. I treasured the special time I spent with my grandparents. And as an adult, I am so very thankful for the close relationship I have with them. I email my grandmother almost daily. And love the opportunity to share memories and laughs from years' past. I have so many inside jokes with them, I can't visit them without a major belly laugh.

HelloKelly said...

I am so happy to hear this! It really is such a common thing that I just had no clue about. What an amazing bond to have with your grandparents, I love that you and your grandmother keep in such close contact!

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