I have always been proud of the fact that I speak to my kids like humans instead of small animals. I talk to them like I would any adult I know, and have never really been a fan of baby babble. This has opened them up to a larger vocabulary at a younger age and a better bond between us. I know my children feel valued as equal members of our family. In light of always keeping them on the same level,I have always been upfront and truthful with them in any circumstance going on with our family.
Our big move was one that was so hard for me to sit down with Trace and explain. I knew it would be hurtful and confusing for him to understand. After all, how do you tell a child that someone loves their home and wants to buy it out from under them? Even to me, finding the right words to say was tough in this situation. On one hand I almost wanted to make something up to keep him from feeling like any property that he felt belonged to him could be taken away at any moment by a stranger. The poor kid was so hurt watching property inspectors and building code inspectors traipse through our home. It was a very confusing time for him. But two things left me holding back from making up a story about what was going on in our lives. One- I couldn't think of anything better then the truth to tell him and two- it felt wrong to lie. I owed it to my son to let him know exactly what was going on. This way we could discuss it as much as he needed and process our emotions together. Of course he didn't fully grasp the meaning of what was happening around him, but he knew he felt saddened by the change. And just like him, I was saddened as well. So we took those emotions, sat together in our quickly emptying home and talked. Or cried. Or laughed. Whatever emotions over came us, we faced it together. And in the end it felt good, he trusted in me to let him know what was happening and in turn always stayed open with me about how he was feeling. It was a time of strengthening for us both.
Since the move, and bringing along three cats to my in-laws we have been tossing back and forth the idea of adopting out the two kittens I had originally gotten for Trace. It has been the last thing I have ever wanted to do but in a home that already had two feisty felines, a mix of five has become a burden no one can really handle. The peeing and fighting has gone through the roof. I asked around and found a lovely older woman who offered to take them in and give them the love our family would want. This decision was a horribly painful one as I have felt like such a poor pet owner these past few years (think back to our terrible dog experience haha). I take animal adoption so seriously and had every intention to keep these kittens but who could ever predict the future. It just wasn't meant to be right now. Again, with this choice I was faced with the challenge of telling Trace that again- there would be loss and change. And it killed me. I sat him down today and explained the situation we were suffering through with the kittens being here. They are simply not happy in this home, they are peeing everywhere and fighting viciously with Nonna and Poppi's cats. It isn't fair to anyone involved. Trace looked at me, and seemed to briefly ponder what I had just said. He then walked away to do something else. While I am sure it will take time for him to realize what exactly I meant I left to door open to always discuss his feelings on the matter if he chose. I will wait for him to register that his cats are gone, and I will be there with open arms to help him understand the tough choices we have had to make lately. If not, then I got off the hook easy with this one. However one thing is for sure. No more pets for quite some time!
|I know he will miss his cats dearly.|