Treat your children like people. PLEASE!

Since becoming a mother (and for many years before it) I have had strong feelings about the parenting style I would take for my own home. I grew up in a "Do as I say not as do" type household where it really bothered me at a young age. I remember my mother doing so many things that I would try to parrot and being reprimanded for. The whole time wondering what I had done wrong, if mommy could do it why couldn't I? 
With this in mind I feel so strongly on parents talking to their children as people and not pets. I speak to my children in full sentences, I do not baby talk. I make sure to get on their level and look them in the eyes when I am explaining something of importance. My 2 year old son does not get reprimanded for an action he has taken without his mommy leaning down, looking him in the eyes, and lovingly (but firmly) explaining why I had asked him to stop what he was doing. 
Maybe he does not fully understand what I am saying or why he is being talked to but he knows that he will always have an explanation from me as to why I disapprove. I will not scold him for things and then leave him confused as to what he did. I know that he will grow up to trust that he will be treated as an equal in this home and that although mommy and daddy rule the roost he is by no means a lesser part of our family dynamic. His opinions and voice will be heard and listened to. Growing up I was expected to go places with my mother and quietly sit in the corner with my hands folded and mouth shut. All the while fighting my child like urges to play and talk and be a part of the conversation going on. I was reprimanded and shushed if I attempted to do so.  Children are not dolls to be dressed up and placed around your home to look nice for company. Company can come over and they better expect my cute dolls to do as they wish (within reason of course) and be treated as PEOPLE. If you have children be prepared for them to act like children. Let them talk, let them imagine, and let them share their experiences with you.
I am sure my styles as a mother will change with time and experience but I know one thing I will stick with is always being ready to strike up a conversation with my kids, whether they are 2 or 25.

2 comments:

Dusti said...

I love this post and I feel the same way. It especially drives me nuts when parents freak out on their kids in restaurants. Hello- adults are taking them into a place they don't want to be, promising them food they have to wait for, fussing at them for making noises that come naturally, and expecting them to behave like adults? Seriously?

Found you through Bekah's blog- loving it!

*head + desk*
Dusti
www.wheresdusti.blogspot.com

Amy said...

Love this! Totally agree with you. You are a treat mama, and from a I can see, you are doing an amazing job:)

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