Confessions Of A Stay At Home Mommy

First off I'd like the preface this by saying what I know I am about to write is irrational. I know a 2 year is not intentionally doing this to hurt my feelings. But, my feelings are still hurt. Because I am an over emotional mommy. 

Trace goes to his grandparents every Thursday night to sleep over for his Friday morning swim lessons. His Nonna takes him so they can have their own special time and because I have no means of transportation to be able to do it on my own. This week however, he spent wed-sat at his grandparents house. I had been babysitting last week and three kids 2 and under was getting to be a little too much for me to handle. Trace loves getting out of the house, he is the happiest kid in the world when he gets to spend time with his Nonna and Poppi. And honestly, he needs to get out more we are always at home never experiencing things outside these walls. It is good for him to get out a bit. 

Trace gets spoiled rotten and plays all day in the pool and in his huge playroom. I am so happy he has such a wonderful relationship with his family. It is so important to me that my children have an amazing bond with not only their parents but with everyone in their family. And luckily for them their family practically fights over them! This is all of course in the sweetest most loving way.

I am straying from the point here, I went to a family party at the in-laws last night (pictures soon, I had a blast!) and when we arrived I was so excited to see Trace. I had missed him soooo much. I kept walking into his room and looking at his little bed and smelling his stuffed animals and blanket. They smelled just like his sweaty morning hair. Ahhh, the smell only a mother could love. I went over to my little guy ready to give him a big hug and kiss and he wanted nothing to do with me! As usual...

You see this isn't the first time he has turned me down or acted like 
he hadn't missed me at all. He does this all the time.

And here is the irrational thinking in me- The first couple of times I have been pushed away by him after reuniting it hurt my feelings. How could it not? I spend every single day with this boy, I hug him and kiss him and cuddle him. I change him and feed him and put him to bed. I am the one who stays up with him at night when he is scared. I am the one kissing his boo-boo's and wiping his tears. How could he not miss me as much as I miss him? It has started to become offensive now.  I was embarrassed that he didn't want to hug me yesterday, and that is wrong. There is no reason for me to be feeling any of this. He is a little boy having a good time with his friends, he sees his mommy all the time. So to him it was no big deal.

Every time I get ready to pick up Trace from his grandparents or they drop him off I have this vision of my little boy seeing me from across the room and scrambling to break free from whoever is holding him and running to me arms wide open. This has never happened. And that is ok, but I at least wish he would let me kiss him without turning his head and trying to get away. I wish he would at least respond to me when I ask if he had a good time or try to engage him in a conversation. Mommy does not exist at all around other people. Yesterday he outright ignored me the entire time we were at the party. He ran away from me at some points. I really don't get it. It makes me feel like such an ass.

My husband gets annoyed when I bring it up, especially when I cry over it (which is almost every time). He has to constantly explain "Trace just sees us as taking him away from a good time when he is at other people's homes. He sees you and gets upset because he knows he will have to go home soon." I get it, totally makes sense. But it doesn't take away from the fact my feelings are hurt. 

Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? I really don't think I am... he is so loving to me at home. So why doesn't he act that way around others? 
I would love feedback from other mommie's how their kids act to reuniting with them after a sleep over with their grandparents or other family members.


Mommyof3 said...

When Krystal stays over my Moms, she cries hysterically in her bed when she gets brought back home. To the point of gagging and hitching breath. She won't talk to me, she just says she wants my Mom. I hate this. I hate it. I know she loves me, but it hurts so much more than it does when she behaves that way.

Adria said...

My babe is only 9.5 months old... but this sounds like not only is he disappointed that he is being "taken away" from being spoiled rotten, he doesn't know how to express his frustration with it. He's also at the age of learning he's independent from you, so pushing you away seems like a natural reaction to that. I'm sorry your feelings get hurt, that must be hard. :/

HelloKelly said...

I hope this doesn't sound mean because I don't mean it that way at all but I am kind of happy I am not the only one whose kids don't want to hug them after having a good time somewhere else! hehe. I know it happens and it is natural but I never hear anyone else mention it. xoxo

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