Yesterday was the perfect day for the kids and I.
Trace has been struggling with his feelings quite a big lately and I in turn am struggling on how to help him out of his little funk. He is becoming more and more withdrawn and I am trying my hardest to get him to realize physical love and attention is a good thing. He has been pushing his family members away and not wanting anything to do with any sort of affection.
As a naturally overly affectionate person I find it hard to cope with being pushed away by my own son. So not only have I been working on him with affection but I have been working on myself to find new ways to show my son I love him without getting into his personal space. And accepting that just because he does not want to be hugged doesn't mean he doesn't love me.
So yesterday we made cookies together and plopped down on the couch under blankets to wait for them to bake. I laid on the other end of the couch from him but our tiny feet were touching and that was enough contact for Trace. While unnatural and a little sad that he wouldn't let me sit next to him I received the best feedback from him. As I laid there watching Super Why with him I noticed him peeking at me from the corner of his eye. He then started "awwing" to himself. He would look over at me and say "awwww" turn away, look at me again and repeat the same phrase. I finally asked him what he was doing and he replied, "I really really like you mommy."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I could have melted into a puddle on the couch. He is such a sweet boy, and if space is what he needs to be able to become loving towards me then ok. I will work with him to give him whatever he needs to open up.