Our Snowy Day

Yesterday was the perfect day for the kids and I. 
Trace has been struggling with his feelings quite a big lately and I in turn am struggling on how to help him out of his little funk. He is becoming more and more withdrawn and I am trying my hardest to get him to realize physical love and attention is a good thing. He has been pushing his family members away and not wanting anything to do with any sort of affection. 
As a naturally overly affectionate person I find it hard to cope with being pushed away by my own son. So not only have I been working on him with affection but I have been working on myself to find new ways to show my son I love him without getting into his personal space. And accepting that just because he does not want to be hugged doesn't mean he doesn't love me.
So yesterday we made cookies together and plopped down on the couch under blankets to wait for them to bake. I laid on the other end of the couch from him but our tiny feet were touching and that was enough contact for Trace. While unnatural and a little sad that he wouldn't let me sit next to him I received the best feedback from him. As I laid there watching Super Why with him I noticed him peeking at me from the corner of his eye. He then started "awwing" to himself. He would look over at me and say "awwww" turn away, look at me again and repeat the same phrase. I finally asked him what he was doing and he replied, "I really really like you mommy." 
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I could have melted into a puddle on the couch. He is such a sweet boy, and if space is what he needs to be able to become loving towards me then ok. I will work with him to give him whatever he needs to open up. 


Amy said...

Hey, I've been reading your blog for a few weeks...(came over from Bekah's blog.) That is really the most adorable thing I've heard in awhile. I can totally imagine how warm and giddy it made you feel.

I've got two boys and a girl, and my first son (perhaps it could be an older child thing?), sounds very much like Trace in the physical affection/emotional dept.

It used to really bother me, and then, like you, I tried to find other ways to connect. I let him ride his bike alongside me when I went for a 3 mile jog the other evening and he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, and saying, "I love you, Mama..." and then smiling shyly. He hasn't done it since, but it was the best!

Good for you to have such intuition!

HelloKelly said...

Thank you Amy! I am so glad to hear I am not the only one with an under affectionate kid hehe. It is so hard o find different ways to show love but I am working my butt off the past week on doing so and it has been working so well! It feels good to take myself out of my comfort zone and mold MYSELF to my children's personalities and not the other way around. Everyone is top dog in our house, especially when it comes to feelings. EVERYONE'S feelings and desires are important, not just the parents.

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