Mama is exhausted. I am drained down to the bone.
I have been missing blogging on a daily basis so badly, but I just cannot find the time (or the energy) by the end of the day. Each week has turned into a massive blur of BUSY.
We have weekly physical therapy for Phoenix. This has been a blessing. She is only on her fourth week but the advice the PT and encouragement has gone a long way. I have a feeling she will pick up on walking pretty soon. At least, I hope so. It is so hard carrying her around everywhere while I feel out of breath and beaten down. She seems so impossibly heavy now, yet I know she is still a tiny little being. She needs to start walking for my sanity. I cannot imagine having a two year who scoots everywhere, oh please Fifi, learn to walk.
Due to the fact both my kids we born prematurely I now have to have weekly progesterone shots to keep this little munchkin in the oven until the time is right. These shots go in the butt. Every week I make a joyous trip to the doctors to get a shot in the butt. Fun.
On top of this not a single week has gone by in the last 2 or 3 months that something hasn't happened that warrants an unexpected trip to our pediatrician. It has gotten to the point where hubby and I just laugh. Each week I see a few empty spots on the calendar and I pray nothing will fill those spots. And each week something does. Sigh...
Between appointments there is grocery shopping, the occasional play date, finding time to get the kids outside, naps, lunches, dinners, books and bed. It never ends. I plop onto the couch at the end of night ready to either sleep or cry.
I know I can handle a third. But I cannot handle all of this while being pregnant. It's beyond tiring.
Sleepless nights right now leave me sluggish in the morning and not at all up to my best potential. Sleepless nights due to an infant some how magically work for me. I do it well. I am up the next morning able to complete life in an awesome manner. I am ready for the exhaustion of an infant. I am over the exhaustion of pregnancy.
Life is hectic yes, but I find the beauty of it in every single day. I know how blessed I truly am.
|Flowers from my little boy|
|Checking out the sharks at the aquarium|