Confessions Of A Stay At Home Mommy

I confess that the above picture is something I used to completely strive to be- but it is not me. Most likely won't ever be me. And I am so over it anyways...

I confess that although I won't give up breastfeeding because of it I am so sick of hourly wakings and our move has only made it worse. Still chugging sleeplessly away.

I confess I get so annoyed after only being awake for an hour with the kids and Trace has already thrown 5 tantrums and won't listen to anything I say.

I confess I tune him out when he whines or repeats himself to save my sanity.

I confess I am waiting for my over night trip to the casino with my husband once Phoenix can sleep at her grandparents. (Husband doesn't know about this but I have plans in the works haha)

I confess I could give a crap that Trace wants to wear girl clothes, do girl things, and realize that it won't always be that way as he grows up. I hate when people fight so hard to push the gender specific junk. The kid spends 24/7 with a girly girl mommy and now a girly girl sister. Can you blame the guy?

I confess I wish Phoenix would learn to crawl already, get movin girl mama's arms are sooo tired!

I confess that through all the sleepless night, colic, stress and frustration my ovaries might not be done. But they probably are... And whichever way I stray is no one's business but mine and my husbands. The backhanded comments from strangers and family alike really get on my nerves. Think before you speak.

I confess that living in a somewhat "farm like" setting is making me want to start doing things I have never even considered before. Like becoming more self sustainable (on multiple levels).

I confess I am ready for fall and rolling in leaves with the kids.

I confess I feel like my brain has completely dulled down since being a stay at home mom and I crave knowledge so badly. I never want to stop learning new things.

I confess I wish my husband and I weren't so stuck in the everyday grind of things and spent more time loving each other. It is so easy to get sucked into a routine of ease and forget the reasons why you have your beautiful children. We need to work on being a couple more and that has taken a backseat since our son was born. Completely.

I confess that I finally gave in and got myself on some anxiety medication to ease the things that annoy me. When I am on something I am able to separate myself from situations and really see what is happening. That most of the time it is a situation that is not nearly as huge as my frazzled self is making it.

I confess I wish I had more time (and energy) to meditate. Not only is it calming and relieving, it brings me great joy and I feel so open to the world once I complete a session.

I confess I wouldn't change a single thing about my life.

Come on mommies, let me hear yours too!